Catalina Iliuta
05/06/2025
Due to a lack of protruding genitalia and too much anger, feminist concerns plague me - and punchlines are my only offerings.
We’ll talk about male desire as a pest within ‘Primal’ which is a porn magazine printed on tracing paper, along with discourse from radical feminists and artists. After the introduction, I think it’s best to talk about it by page. There will be images attached and artists embedded into the analysis of individual spreads, building a hopefully coherent argument. I've always wanted someone to give me a mic and 12 pages of size 10 arial font with a rudimentary assessment brief and the opportunity to break loose (shamelessly obliterating the lower body genitalia that makes men think they’re granted freedom to act like absolute dickheads). What joy!
Introduction
Before anything else, I want to define the male desire (MD) spectrum I will relentlessly condemn for the next 12 pages (or so). I read Julia Kristeva’s Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection2 (as a disturbing/lost/mean-spirited aspiring feminist is instructed to) and made a list of categories: dead people, shit, piss, cum, vomit, any other bodily fluid from a corporal orifice. The naivety that led me to believe these things can surely prevent being wanked to (despite being in possession of my coin slot shaped genitalia) is the same that made me think my father (despite his protruding cylindrical shaped genitalia) is surely not going to verbally assault his wife in a rather misogynistic cunt manner in front of his daughter (he did). It turned out that for any of these categories, there are non-obsolete and so trivial they’re a running joke porn categories: necrophilia, 2girls1cup(full of shit), piss kinks, etc.
Partly because anything can be a porn category3, the abject also doesn’t intimidate the male- it’s taken as a provocation and made into a kink. With the hypothesis that men will find pleasure in abject images of women4, exclusively because they see an inherent sex value in female bodies being harmed, insignificant and therefore incredible wank real estate, Primal became a gift to MD.
I want to clarify that fetishes expressed by men are not inherently bad or something I want to moralise. They can be practiced consensually, and in a way that has fuck all to do with me. I am not making an argument about moral/immoral kinks, because I am not puritanical and I don’t care about something that doesn’t hurt anyone (under the definition that kinks/fetishes are isolated to the individual that finds arousal in them - not exerted upon anyone). I am also not interested in a criticism of ‘unconventional’ ways to practice sex. The issue is practices/fantasies/turn-ons that do not cohabit ‘sex’. Sex is consensual, being fetishised is not, and neither is being hurt by a desire that didn’t stop when denied permission.
Desire in itself is not evil, but cis heterosexual male desire is, because of the patriarchal, heteronormative sky daddy organisation of the world that prioritises male comfort at the expense of us walking fannies5(dominated and to be used consequentially). Also worth stating is that the MD I am referring to extends past the sexual realm (even though still able to grant sexual pleasure). It is desired of me, as a woman-shaped thing, that I cater to the comfort of men I don't know, care about, long for. It is desired of us that we do not hate our oppressors and speak openly about said hate (regardless of this being the most logical/rational/sane outcome I can see for us). It is also expected of me that I don't complain if harassed/catcalled/assaulted when I purposefully put on an outfit a hungry drooling man (with the intelligence of a unicellular organism) can see me in. These are examples, I’m not making a list because you’re not stupid and you also have limited time to mark, and I also don't want to. You also know about the consumption of the female (through hints and body parts), you know even about the exploitation and division of labour where it is more womanly to educate a slimy cohort of sexists than use the kind of rhetoric ‘primal’ does (providing no answers). MD wants of me the same things the patriarchy wants, and also a wank on top. I imagine it as a slimy bricked up entity that smells of old grease. That’s the guy I hate. That's what male desire means to my work.
I understand, also, desire to be nuanced, not necessarily incessantly pushy, and ambiguous6. In the case of cis and hetero male desire, however, finding pleasure in my suffering and jumping out like a jack in the box at the most inconvenient of times (to make sure I am on the right shelf at the right times) seems straight-forwardly predictable. This specifically, if personified, is the type of guy I'm against. The distinction being that, in work that I make, male desire is demanding, objectifying, and unforgiving as opposed to longing. Female suffering is consumed as a compulsion7. I want to understand where the ratty little dog is biting me from, and if my ankles can therefore be protected.
This starting point offered a perspective that is not unbiased, but that doesn't concern me in a way that makes me feel the argument is unnecessary- all my life I’ve watched my mother tumble with velocity while my father barbecues and listens to his mate complain his wife’s ass ain’t what it used to be. And then again and again, the same observations popped up slightly different, same visual language and all (a guy once told me I’m so pessimistic, the man at the bus was smiling because ‘we're a nice couple’; later that night he got angsty that I didn’t want to give him head, and when I refused to see him again, asked me to give him back the birthday present he got for me8). Because I am petty, and because I see such genuine injustice in the workplace/on the news/everywhere else9I make absolute gold of shitty comments men make and wedge them into the arguments I make for my work. But, for the sake of not being reprimanded for pulling shit out of my ass, I’ll refer to Adrian Piper, Penny Goring, Guerrilla Girls and writers with further anecdotal evidence (best I can do is take advantage of this loophole) amongst others to justify my intentions.
My radish porno
Male expressed kinks are too often not kept in their sex realm enclosure, and taken outside, off leads, like dribbly dogs (made somehow into something I have to deal with). I did not intend to make a porn magazine because I disliked the idea of them - I don't hate erotica. But there's something pushy and violent in what men do with these magazines and what they expect them to do for them- the 19-year-old should be skinny and look daft but alluring, and pussy (when spread) needs to adhere to a certain standard. It’s not beauty standards that are at stake, not necessarily the sexualisation of the female body either (at least that is somewhat consensual on their part). It’s these images being wrapped in a milieu of grief. Porn links to assault10, a prolific culture for it11, brutalisation of the young12. And so I am treated like they are: these beautiful shiny pages- it is a personal attack and that's why I am making this satire porno. I want nothing from the male other than to be as irrelevant and left alone as a radish in the ground when it comes to objectification (unless that's your thing which it unfortunately might be, there s porn for it - I’ve checked). Lacanian thought explains to me that porn is sexually gratifying because of self identifying with the character on the screen13; through the same rhetoric, I identify with the meaninglessness of the one being fucked, and my way out of it is to replace myself with a radish (oh, the hunger to be non-sentient!)
I don't need to tell you about why we used explicit language in the title, alluding to desire as animalistic and the encouraging of non-consensual, violent ways to exert sexual desire onto the female. You understand the front cover, I’m sure. And the rest is as manipulated as the first image. The materials are bodies (real porn mag scanned and manipulated), sexy vegetables, memes, text, the effects Word had to offer, and tracing paper. A remix, my summary of MD uses rudimentary resources and convinces (with shiny paper) to be the real deal. The hands that make these magazines, the editors, photographers, are not fit to produce material that puts women at risk, so it makes sense to use zero skill (word because i don't know how to work indesign) and compensate with confidence (at least the paper is the right size and shiny). The same way Mike Kelley uses pop culture, and Adrian Piper uses her diaries, the intimate relationship I have with these women’s legs and necks and genitalia similarly turns from internal context to means of building. Externalised, this visual language becomes aesthetic category14. And because there is no good way out of it (if I am trying to humanise female bodies), a language of absurdity becomes a necessity{15}, hence the humorous obscenity of the radishes.
Confessions
The first page is confessional almost, a Kathy Acker-esque mess of a story without chronology{16}. The use of text throughout the magazine is a nice way to feel like I can do something against an evil virus. I’d rather not be a porn category, a less attractive porn actress, wank material of any kind. To avoid this predetermined role, autobiographical writing seems useful. Not to
humanise myself, because the man ready to beat his meat won't care, but because exercising a voice and an unreliable/ambiguous/confusing one is revolt enough, sort of (why is the porn category saying words instead of just being wet, and also not explaining what the words mean :(((( ). This ties to Kathy Acker’s implementation of autobiographical writing in her work as alternative storytelling. The storylines could be pessimistic: her characters escape one hell and end in another{16}, which she calls plagiarising her childhood. I plagiarise men who have pissed me off, making my anger a priority, and offering no solution. Much too often the explaining is placed on the people that hand out gentle reminders: ‘hey dude women have it hard and we'd appreciate it if u gave a fuck’, met with ‘educate me pls :/’ (responsibility placed on feminists, diverting, avoiding accountability{17})
Penny Goring has mentioned the blatant truth of a claim becomes amusing in its starkness{18}. Page1 was written as truthfully as I could explain my childhood-sexism recollection. And with the artifice of a little absurdity, maybe an unreliable narrator that is overly funny is received that way because of a tight relationship with truth. Blunt gives me space to talk, funny clears a path to be heard. Similarly, Guerrilla Girls (GG) mention humour lubricates the delivery of political statements{19}. At the time GG swapped demonstrating in front of the Museum of Modern Art for street posters as a protest, their audience were people that continued to buy tickets for the exhibitions. Primal hasn’t been distributed that way (it should be I think) but it does use a less direct type of rhetoric to build a criticism. A context similar to GG’s, where the audience is unwilling, or unintentionally unresponsive (which is somewhat consistent over time when it comes to recruiting feminists) is similar to that of Primal. If demanding to speak to the wanker(literally) opening the magazine, not much will deter his dick. Moralising will not make it limp. There's a weird space to occupy, the attempt to speak to an audience is absurd, and the work intends to be too - on one hand, its a tongue in cheek ‘I know my actions don’t have the power’, on the other ‘it’s nice to be funny, odd, and not arrange vulnerable experiences so that the male figure can listen’.
Memes are inherently seen as poor intellect, which is in line with the approach taken (because of the audience predicament discussed above). Penny Goring’s memes contextualise this: images of her face and hair photoshopped onto a nice green field confuse, so they ask to be understood.
The work is funny. I don’t think humour will bring humanity together and fix our biblical greed and fucked up obsession with AI sex bots. But working within your means (being funny is free) can be a poke at ‘the big boys’{18}. I think humour some what patronises MD, without much effort (and at least a bit of satisfaction).
Walking in circles
A prohibitionary/transgressive debate with porn{20} has me a bit deflated. Pages 17 and 18 are directly addressing the fictive audience, which is placed in the hot seat. Directing towards a remedy isn’t on the table. Prohibiting porn or embracing the challenge of trimming its claws are both good mines for brainstorming. Neither is able to fix the cruelty of male desire. Religious grounds encourage abstinence{21}, but I don't trust prohibiting has worked/will work, especially as rates of porn addiction are increasing and ages of exposure lowering{22}. This justifies why Primal doesn't try to fill you with hope. And either way, MD in porn is a small adjacent street to big deal femicides{23} and politicians treating us as like shit.
Adrian Piper’s ‘Mythic Being’ (1973) was a playful, meditative realm to explore intersectionality within her identity{24}. Embodying masculinity can be used as a research ground. I guess in Primal, doing so diminishes its threat, and annexing MD is for the purpose of understanding, more than it is for protesting. Adrian Piper created a male alter ego, I fucked one. Ideas for Primal partially came from a shagging marathon where I slept with a bunch of men (who did not care if I lived or died), trying to find where my humanity ends. Always treated as porn category/actress/gap to project desire on, this information did for me what I can assume the guise did for Piper’s ‘mantras’ (intellectualised and pitted them of emotional meaning).
As I understand it, the context of her Mythic Being series included being seen as unfit racially and through her gender, therefore being excluded from both racial justice and feminist discourse. Left to occupy a transitional, non-conclusive space. The context of Primal shares some similarities: attempting to reach an audience while making feminist work (during a rise of conservatism, femicides, lack of clarity in what concerns the role of AI in porn and male violence) is reminiscent of Piper’s use of performance to attract an audience willing to figure things out alongside herself.
Fin
As a conclusion, I guess it makes sense to say that the GG, Piper, Acker have adapted their practices around their beliefs, regardless of meaningful protest (which I would be unable to define). The work I make is motivated by a sense of justice (which doesn’t claim to make any linear or even actual change), despite having no conviction that it is possible for it to do any of the things I would like it to. The means of making it are fun (sometimes) and I’ll continue to care about what informed Primal. Funny is enough (I have nothing else) and any future work I make will, most likely, continue to have no say in what happens to the female body within MD.
1“Primal — Catalinailiuta.” 2025. Cargo.site. 2025. https://catalinailiuta.cargo.site/primal. 2 Kristeva, Julia. 1982. Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection. New York: Columbia University Press.
3 Bernstein, Shireen, Wayne Warburton, Kay Bussey, and Naomi Sweller. 2021. “‘Rule 34: If It Exists, There Is Porn of It…’ Insights into the Content Choices, Viewing Reasons and Attitudinal Impact of Internet Pornography among Young Adults.” Sexual Health & Compulsivity 28 (1-2): 1–28. https://doi.org/10.1080/26929953.2021.1986763.
4“The Picture of Abjection: Film, Fetish, and the Nature of Difference.” 2008. Choice Reviews Online 45 (12): 45–666545–6665. https://doi.org/10.5860/choice.45-6665.
5“Women Almost Twice as Likely as Men to Do the Bulk of Household Budgeting.” n.d. The Fawcett Society. https://www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/news/women-almost-twice-as-likely-as men-to-do-the-bulk-of-household-budgeting.
6“What Philosophy Can Tell Us about Sex and the Human Condition | Forum.” 2021. January 29, 2021. https://blogs.unimelb.edu.au/shaps-research/2021/01/29/philosophers-on-sex/.
7 Tata Shermazanashvili. 2022. “The Fetishization of Women’s Suffering in Modern Cinema, a Widespread Senseless Trend.” Medium. July 23, 2022. https://medium.com/@tatsherm/the fetishization-of-womens-suffering-in-modern-cinema-a-widespread-senseless-trend 38098c412616.
8fucking twat
9 Makortoff, Kalyeena, and Kalyeena Makortoff Banking correspondent. 2024. “Sexism in the City: ‘No Matter How Hard I Work, They Will Never Ever Recognise Me.’” The Guardian, March 4, 2024, sec. Business. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2024/mar/04/sexism-in-the city-no-matter-how-hard-i-work-they-will-never-ever-recognise-me.
10 Ferguson, Christopher J., and Richard D. Hartley. 2009. “The Pleasure Is Momentary…the Expense Damnable?” Aggression and Violent Behavior 14 (5): 323–29.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2009.04.008.
11 Davis, Nicola. 2021. “Is Pornography to Blame for Rise in ‘Rape Culture’?” The Guardian. March 29, 2021. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/29/is-pornography-to-blame-for rise-in-culture.
12 “More than 500 Child Victims of ‘Revenge Porn’ in England and Wales Last Year.” 2020. The Guardian. October 9, 2020. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/oct/09/more-than 500-child-victims-of-revenge-porn-in-england-and-wales-last-year.
13 Mulvey, Laura. 1975. “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema.” Screen 16 (3): 6–18. 14 Ngai, Sianne. 2012. Our Aesthetic Categories : Zany, Cute, Interesting. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press.
15 “Art and Philosophy: Interpreting Existentialism and Absurdism in Visual Art.” 2024. Eclectic Gallery. 2024. https://eclecticgallery.co.uk/news/227-art-and-philosophy-interpreting existentialism-and-absurdism-in-journeying-through-existentialism-and-absurdism/.
16 Doherty, Maggie. 2022. “Kathy Acker’s Art of Identity Theft.” The New Yorker. November 28, 2022. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/12/05/kathy-ackers-art-of-identity-theft.
17 Winterfox, Cecilia. 2013. “Feminists Are Not Responsible for Educating Men.” Feminist Current. October 11, 2013. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2013/10/10/feminists-are-not responsible-for-educating-men/.
18 Judah, Hettie. 2022. “Artist Penny Goring: ‘David Bowie Showed Me That There Was Another World.’” The Guardian. The Guardian. June 21, 2022.
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2022/jun/21/penny-goring-interview-ica-penny world.
19 Gallery, South London. 2024. “Q&a with Guerrilla Girls.” South London Gallery. April 19, 2024. https://www.southlondongallery.org/journal/interview-guerrilla-girls/.
20 Dines, Gail, and Robert Jensen. 2008. “Pornography, Feminist Debates On.” The International Encyclopedia of Communication, June. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781405186407.wbiecp080. 21 otherjournal. 2006. “Christians Caught between the Sheets - How ‘Abstinence Only’ Ideology Hurts Us - the Other Journal.” The Other Journal. April 2, 2006.
https://theotherjournal.com/2006/04/christians-caught-between-the-sheets-how-abstinence only-ideology-hurts-us/.
22 Yunengsih, Wiwi, and Agus Setiawan. 2021. “Contribution of Pornographic Exposure and Addiction to Risky Sexual Behavior in Adolescents.” Journal of Public Health Research 10 (s1). https://doi.org/10.4081/jphr.2021.2333.
23 Lim, Megan S C, Elise R Carrotte, and Margaret E Hellard. 2015. “The Impact of Pornography on Gender-Based Violence, Sexual Health and Well-Being: What Do We Know?” Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 70 (1): 3–5.
24 Gallery, Thomas Erben. 2025. “Thomas Erben Gallery | Adrian Piper – the Mythic Being, 1972- 1975.” Thomaserben.com. 2025. https://www.thomaserben.com/exhibitions/adrian-piper-the mythic-being-1972-1975/.
Bibliography
Bernstein, Shireen, Wayne Warburton, Kay Bussey, and Naomi Sweller. 2021. “‘Rule 34: If It Exists, There Is Porn of It…’ Insights into the Content Choices, Viewing Reasons and Attitudinal Impact of Internet Pornography among Young Adults.” Sexual Health & Compulsivity 28 (1- 2): 1–28. https://doi.org/10.1080/26929953.2021.1986763.
“The Picture of Abjection: Film, Fetish, and the Nature of Difference.” 2008. Choice Reviews Online 45 (12): 45–666545–6665. https://doi.org/10.5860/choice.45-6665.
Davis, Nicola. 2021. “Is Pornography to Blame for Rise in ‘Rape Culture’?” The Guardian. March 29, 2021. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/29/is-pornography-to-blame-for rise-in-culture.
Dines, Gail, and Robert Jensen. 2008. “Pornography, Feminist Debates On.” The International Encyclopedia of Communication, June. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781405186407.wbiecp080
Doherty, Maggie. 2022. “Kathy Acker’s Art of Identity Theft.” The New Yorker. November 28, 2022. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/12/05/kathy-ackers-art-of-identity-theft.
“Art and Philosophy: Interpreting Existentialism and Absurdism in Visual Art.” 2024. Eclectic Gallery. 2024. https://eclecticgallery.co.uk/news/227-art-and-philosophy-interpreting-existentialism and-absurdism-in-journeying-through-existentialism-and-absurdism/.
“Women Almost Twice as Likely as Men to Do the Bulk of Household Budgeting.” n.d. The Fawcett Society. https://www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/news/women-almost-twice-as-likely-as men-to-do-the-bulk-of-household-budgeting.
Ferguson, Christopher J., and Richard D. Hartley. 2009. “The Pleasure Is Momentary…the Expense Damnable?” Aggression and Violent Behavior 14 (5): 323–29.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2009.04.008.
“What Philosophy Can Tell Us about Sex and the Human Condition | Forum.” 2021. January 29, 2021. https://blogs.unimelb.edu.au/shaps-research/2021/01/29/philosophers-on-sex/.
“More than 500 Child Victims of ‘Revenge Porn’ in England and Wales Last Year.” 2020. The Guardian. October 9, 2020. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/oct/09/more-than 500-child-victims-of-revenge-porn-in-england-and-wales-last-year.
“Primal — Catalinailiuta.” 2025. Cargo.site. 2025. https://catalinailiuta.cargo.site/primal.
Judah, Hettie. 2022. “Artist Penny Goring: ‘David Bowie Showed Me That There Was Another World.’” The Guardian. The Guardian. June 21, 2022.
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2022/jun/21/penny-goring-interview-ica-penny world.
Kristeva, Julia. 1982. Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection. New York: Columbia University Press.
Lim, Megan S C, Elise R Carrotte, and Margaret E Hellard. 2015. “The Impact of Pornography on Gender-Based Violence, Sexual Health and Well-Being: What Do We Know?” Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health 70 (1): 3–5.
Makortoff, Kalyeena, and Kalyeena Makortoff Banking correspondent. 2024. “Sexism in the City: ‘No Matter How Hard I Work, They Will Never Ever Recognise Me.’” The Guardian, March 4, 2024, sec. Business. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2024/mar/04/sexism-in-the city-no-matter-how-hard-i-work-they-will-never-ever-recognise-me.
Mehl, Isabel. “Why Is Kathy Acker so Maddeningly Difficult to Memorialize?” Frieze.com, June 3, 2025. https://www.frieze.com/article/why-kathy-acker-so-maddeningly-difficult-memorialize.
Moore, Sam. “Artist Penny Goring’s Poems of Love and Fear Represent Our Dystopian and Utopian Selves.” Polyester , March 20, 2025. https://www.polyesterzine.com/features/artist penny-gorings-poems-of-love-and-fear-represent-our-dystopian-and-utopian-selves.
Mulvey, Laura. 1975. “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema.” Screen 16 (3): 6–18.
Ngai, Sianne. 2012. Our Aesthetic Categories : Zany, Cute, Interesting. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press.
otherjournal. 2006. “Christians Caught between the Sheets - How ‘Abstinence Only’ Ideology Hurts Us - the Other Journal.” The Other Journal. April 2, 2006.
https://theotherjournal.com/2006/04/christians-caught-between-the-sheets-how-abstinence only-ideology-hurts-us/.
Tata Shermazanashvili. 2022. “The Fetishization of Women’s Suffering in Modern Cinema, a Widespread Senseless Trend.” Medium. July 23, 2022. https://medium.com/@tatsherm/the fetishization-of-womens-suffering-in-modern-cinema-a-widespread-senseless-trend 38098c412616.
Gallery, South London. 2024. “Q&a with Guerrilla Girls.” South London Gallery. April 19, 2024. https://www.southlondongallery.org/journal/interview-guerrilla-girls/.
13
Gallery, Thomas Erben. 2025. “Thomas Erben Gallery | Adrian Piper – the Mythic Being, 1972- 1975.” Thomaserben.com. 2025. https://www.thomaserben.com/exhibitions/adrian-piper-the mythic-being-1972-1975/.
Winterfox, Cecilia. 2013. “Feminists Are Not Responsible for Educating Men.” Feminist Current. October 11, 2013. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2013/10/10/feminists-are-not responsible-for-educating-men/.
Yunengsih, Wiwi, and Agus Setiawan. 2021. “Contribution of Pornographic Exposure and Addiction to Risky Sexual Behavior in Adolescents.” Journal of Public Health Research 10 (s1). https://doi.org/10.4081/jphr.2021.2333.
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